Letter to the Parish

New Life - A New Phase of Life

New life is an amazing thing. From conception, through development and growth in the mother, to the birth of a tiny human being: new life is an absolutely amazing thing.

How does this incredible thing happen: from a cell dividing to a fully formed human being?

What an astonishing thing the creation of new life is. I have been a Christian since my mid-teens, over forty years ago, but I would say it was when our first daughter was born, some thirty years ago (where does the time go?!), that I really started to question what life was really all about, and my faith really took off. And it changed my life forever. Now, Helen and I have some lovely news that we would like to share with you this month ... we have now officially joined the grandparent club! We now have little Toby James in our family, born on the 1st March.

This new life has got me thinking again though; because not only is this a new life, Helen and I arenow in a new, unexplored phase of our life: that of being a Grandma and Grandad! Where do I go to buy a pipe, and slippers, a rocking chair, and strong reading glasses?! (Amazon I suppose; like most other things I'm sure they'll all be available there!) Will I reach a point when I suddenly need these things?! Do I have to slow down? Will I instantly be considered to be partially deaf, partially blind, and old fashioned? Do I have to start saying things like, "Back in my day...", or, "We didn't have things like that when you were growing up; but we did alright", or, "Why are car seats/buggies/highchairs so complicated to use?" Is this new life, and new phase of life, going to change me/us into the stereotypical image of ageing grandparents?! Advice from those of you with much more experience of the grandparent club would be greatly appreciated please!

How do we go about balancing our own independence and the things we want to do, with the independence of our own child and her new family and the things they want to do/need to do?

How do we balance the independence and the interdependence of this new phase of family life?

Independence/interdependence is a bit like how porcupines stay warm in winter: they come close enough together to get warmth from each other, but stay far enough away to avoid the quills"! It's going to be interesting working out this balance! Helen and I look forward to growing into this grandparenthood thing; and seeing how something so small can cause such big impact in our lives - again!

God bless you

Revd. David Commander
Rector

Benefice of Benenden and Sandhurst

T: 01580 240658 E: david@dc-uk.co.uk