Letter to the Parish

Good - and bad - news travels fast

Last month I shared the lovely news with you all of the birth of our first grandchild. (He continues to grow, is very well, and a real delight and blessing.) It struck me when thinking about this letter how we are all so quick to share really happy news; we want to tell other people when exciting things happen in our lives. We all do it, don't we? When something good happens in our lives - we pick up the phone, send emails, get on Facebook, speak to people at work or in the village, and the good news spreads quickly. But when things are not going well in our lives ... it's a very different matter. (Don't worry, everything is fine in our family, we're not hiding anything, it is the principle that I want to write about and share.)

For the last two months we have been trying to come to terms with the dreadful news of a mother being killed in her own home; and then trying to understand the shocking news that this was carried out by her husband. Everything was brought back to the forefront of our minds last week when news of the court appearance and sentencing was made known. Our love and prayers, our thoughts and concerns, remain for this young family as they look to rebuild their lives together.

Like good news, bad news also travels very fast - and so do rumours associated with the bad news. A crucial difference though is that when things start going wrong in our personal lives we do not want to speak about it. We want to keep those things to ourselves; keep them completely private - which is very understandable, that is what the vast majority of us do. We shut our front doors, draw our curtains, put on a good-face, and pretend that everything is alright in our lives; when inside - inside our homes, inside our relationships, and inside our minds - we are really hurting. If something positive can come out of this dreadful situation, then could it be that we learn to share how we feel about the bad things that are happening in our lives with someone? That we learn to be honest with ourselves, and we learn to share the bad with someone that we know will listen.

I have had it said to me so many times in my ministry as a priest, "I wish I could have done something to help prevent it happening". But so many times we do not know about the 'it' until the event has happened ... because we are all so good at hiding bad things in our lives from others. Please, if there is something that is burdening you - speak to someone, speak to me, to anyone, about it. Share things, and try to prevent things escalating out of control.

God bless you

Revd. David Commander
Rector

Benefice of Benenden and Sandhurst

T: 01580 240658 E: david@dc-uk.co.uk